bitter feelings

okay so couldn't sleep again
I’ve been thinking too much lately about my life I don't sleep anymore ,no really I don't I just keep on playing music in heavy rotation if not that I’m reading a novel till the time for school comes, seriously I need some sleep (sleep S sleep!!) Even worse I’ve got exams today.*sigh* what's wrong with me ?

mom just got back last night she says we're not going there for the summer break! dunno whether we should believe her or not ,wish it's the truth though, got too much plans for the summer don't wanna go there and screw them up.
I think I know the reason I’m putting myself through all this pressure ,something is missing lately and I need it So bad it's frightening.
the thing is that thing I need wont be here anymore after a while so I should get used to it’s absence.I just wish things didn’t have to end this way I hate goodbyes

(I’d love to shut down that brain of mine so it could stop analyzing and over thinking almost everything for gazillion times it's hopeless why I’m doing this to myself? exactly no reason.)