Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"I promise you I'll be here to let the light in"

I dunno what to say ..
I stayed away from writing on purpose.
thought it would help me,
that by refusing to write whatever I felt like saying I'd somehow make it go away,
but really it didn't.
maybe I have to do this, maybe because it's the one thing I know how to do.

Anyway, so the thing is I'm tired.. I dunno why am I tired. I just feel like I wanna quit any moment now.
I dunno what to do with my life. I mean I know what to do tomorrow, I know what to do next week.
I just don't know what to do the next 20 years of my life.
At some point I thought I had it all figured out, that I'm gonna move from here and be somewhere I belong and start a life there.
even that is gone now
and I don't know what to do
I'm more lost at this point in my life than I've ever been.


Eli said...

I really enjoy your posts. There's so much honesty in them, Everyone feels lost, and it's natural to feel like there's no point to life. I feel like that a lot

Charade said...

Sometimes knowing that someone else goes through similar things really helps.
Thank you Eli.

Bliss said...

Keep doing what you're doing, it really helps letting out all whats kept inside :)

Why is your future plan gone now? you know if you put your mind into something, you can definitely achieve it!
Never give up!

JenniAsh said...

I know how you feel.
I feel so directionless and sometimes everything just feels so cheap and hopeless...
Don't give up, just keep going.
You don't always need a plan. Just do what you love and see where it leads you.


Charade said...

That's another story, maybe I'll write a post about it one of those days. Thanks.

What if that thing I loved isn't good enough?

Roslyn said...

aw sweetie you sound so sad! =( *hugs*

i'm new to the whole blogging thing but i really like your blogs!

in relation to the reply you sent JenniAsh..if you love somehing then it IS good enough. Don't give a fuck what people think coz that will screw you over if you love something you go and do it! the best direction in life is the one you take for yourself! =) wow i've never sounde so optimistic in my life...but it's the truth!

Keep Smilin' =)


Elisa said...

See even people you don't know you care about you :) Everyone needs to have someone care about them, even if it's a stranger...I send you some from Florida sunshine ;>

Charade said...

"wow i've never sounded so optimistic in my life" LOL
I love your name. Thank you.

Weee! I love Florida's climate and beaches ^^

pepperidges said...

so i just joined this blogging planet today and i went to 'next blog' and yours was the FIRST one i came to. i have no idea how this all works. i like what you're saying here about being lost. i'm there, lost.

Elisa said...

yeah the weather is nice, but everyone has their nose high in the air....just need to be around the cool beach vibe

Rondell said...

Girl if you tired why don't you drink some coffee? That really perk up Rondell!

JenniAsh said...

''JenniAsh What if that thing I loved isn't good enough?''

Loved is past tense, meaning you are not in love with it/them anymore. It's hard for me to answer because I don't really have any context but the obvious thing is to move on and leave it/them behind if it is a problem, find a new inspiration... which is cliche I know; its far easier said than done but it's not impossible.

Whatever's bothering you I hope it goes away, nothing is forever.

brett said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
gfanning said...

Charade, One day at a time. Thanks for putting your feelings out there. I can relate.

musingsandesthesis said...

so how do u keep at it? i mean doesn it feel wasted? n m jus askn 4 me, coz m jus so totally bored......... i mean, heart, brain workin, vital stats up, all looks gud, xcept dt m so numb, dt i dont feel alive....
i no its too dramatic, i need to work on dt
bt man, i jus dont feel lyk doin nethin........!
oh well
nicely put, u totally get it

Anonymous said...

I was in your spot four years ago. Exactly.