Friday, February 27, 2009

The Breakthrough

I've came across new realization about myself.

For the last three years now I've been demolishing my inner self and criticizing my actions infinitely and I didn't get anything out of this, other than of course my spirit getting crushed into dust every once and a while and ignoring any strengths I managed to find in me. Now it suddenly hit me why had I spent so much time doing this to myself. it's because I believed that this is the way I deserved to be treated.
The thing is I was so mad of me that punishing myself was the only thing that satisfied my ego, this needs to be stopped right away because :
  1. well, I didn't do what I thought I did.
  2. deep down I knew I'm a good person and I know that I deserve better from everyone (including myself).
  3. it's time to move on and grow the fuck up for heaven's sake!
maybe it's too late maybe it's not but I've decided to use fair judgments when it comes to my behavior
'cause sometimes I really wonder how do I expect others to like me when I can't stand who I am?

3 comments:

Raisa said...

amen!

I need to do that myself, you know

thank you,
and good luck :)

Noufa said...

Mmm you know what? You're just making a big deal of it!

Charade said...

Raisa
hey thanks .. good luck to you as well.

Noufa
Mmm making big deal? How do you even gather such an implication to that effect from my post?