For the last three years now I've been demolishing my inner self and criticizing my actions infinitely and I didn't get anything out of this, other than of course my spirit getting crushed into dust every once and a while and ignoring any strengths I managed to find in me. Now it suddenly hit me why had I spent so much time doing this to myself. it's because I believed that this is the way I deserved to be treated.
The thing is I was so mad of me that punishing myself was the only thing that satisfied my ego, this needs to be stopped right away because :
- well, I didn't do what I thought I did.
- deep down I knew I'm a good person and I know that I deserve better from everyone (including myself).
- it's time to move on and grow the fuck up for heaven's sake!
'cause sometimes I really wonder how do I expect others to like me when I can't stand who I am?