Fluctuation Jokes

1.

Run the water tap over your lollipop gently. Stare at the self-inflicted redness of your tongue. Now take the paper straw and pretend it's a cigarette and inhale it. Crush it out in the ashtray until your fingers hurt.

2.
Let's play a game. You look outside your window and tell me what you see. I will be the one analyzing your personality according to what you notice first.
You said the first thing you saw was the black, yellow-eyed cat running across the street.
I thought it 's very interesting how you figured out she's a 'she' not 'it'. How would you know? You never had a cat.... there wasn't one cat outside that day by the way.

3.
You’re so tired I can tell. Go lay on the top bunk bed in your old room. When you finish counting the plaster carvings on the ceiling, close your eyes and don’t ever wake up.